The Zen and the Damaged

Bob Cratchit is Bobby the stage manager (Eric Drysdale), graced for the first time with a last name.

P. K. Winsome (Tim Meadows), token black Republican and relentless self-promoter, has made a few appearances on TCR, though he was never involved in Stephen's Quest for a New Black Friend.

Meg Silverman is Meg the intern, having been promoted over the years. Her last name is from Allison Silverman, TCR head writer and co-executive producer.

his adopted son, the eagle Stephen Junior - bald eagles in the wild live 20-30 years, and in captivity some have lived up to 50. This isn't so far in the future that Junior (track him here) would be dead.

a comparatively miniature magazine cover - from the November 16, 2006 Rolling Stone article.

"Very wise. That makes a statement, right there: nobody's coming in this room unless they, ah, push." - a line from Stewart's stand-up act.

you could be a bad slice of pizza, and undigested bite of banana, a stray crumb of muffin - all foods associated in this fandom with gay innuendo.

Raven . . . she's one of the strippers - allusion to a character from Wigfield, portrayed by Stephen in drag.

a silver spoon on a fine chain around her neck - this is the spoon which Meg used on her first appearance to test Stephen's water.

Eliza - TCR's minimum-wage British-street-urchin camera operator.

slippers in the form of his favorite hockey mascot - Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle, of the Saginaw Spirit. (Slippers not currently available.)

a stuffed octopus - an idea appropriated from the real Colbert, who wanted to be a marine biologist when he was younger.

The dancing young men - a translation of "Dancing Muchachos", an Exit 57 skit. Video and transcription of lyrics.

a fair young woman in whose clear blue eyes there were tears - Stephen's cousin and stalkee Charlene, described as having "crystal blue eyes".

a heroic character whom he had based largely upon himself - Tek Jansen, naturally.

a wavy shock of dark hair and a square jaw - Jim Hoskinson, TCR's director.

As many as there are faiths among mankind - the Ghosts of [Insert Other Holidays Here] Present.

some kind of filter - director lingo. Jimmy invokes a lot of this: green screens, scene changes, zooms.

The figure was shrouded in a deep black hoodie - this is of course Killer, TCR's muscular and perpetually silent roadie.

a group of men at the bar - other figures in the comedy/newsman/pundit scene.

clear blue eyes and pure white hair - Anderson Cooper, of Anderson Cooper 360.

iron-gray hair and a deep voice - Keith Olbermann. ("Worst Person in the World" is a regular segment of his.)

a skinny, pale man with a shock of red hair - Conan O'Brien.

another comedian and an actress - Amy Sedaris, complete with outrageous hand-crafted garment.

had to get some marbles for the party - Sedaris' book I Like You: Hospitality Under The Influence advises putting marbles in the medicine government to catch nosy guests.

Mr. Lieber - Russ Lieber (David Cross), Colbert's liberal radio nemesis. Modeled on Al Franken, so it makes sense that he would also harbor political ambitions. (The woman with him is nobody in particular.)

Shari - Shari Redstone, daughter of Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone and currently slated to be his successor.

Geoffrey - Geoffrey Jellineck from Strangers with Candy, played (like Tad) by Paul Dinello.

when they announced the Silmarillion movie - hasn't happened yet, and probably never will, but we geeks can dream.

a blog which he trusted to spread any news regarding him within minutes - this is of course No Fact Zone.

I could use a sauswich . . . Wait. I'm out of eggs. Maybe I'll try Kix - the sauswich is an invention of Colbert's; Kix cereal was once a number one threat.

a bolt of Truth through a self-congratulatory dinner party - sound familiar?

the driver of the cab - is Mohinder Suresh from Heroes. There's no reason for this; it's just a random cameo.

room B221 - either an allusion to the Holmes canon or to House M.D.; take your pick.

Nutz brand soda - like pizza, heavily affiliated with the gay. (Nothing like the taste of Nutz on the back of the throat.)

collection of used car shops and strip clubs masquerading as a town for the purpose of monetary compensation - again, Wigfield.